The Heart Behind It All

The words “new” and “perceive” stood out to me the most... they kept chasing me down.

Any time I came across the word new or perceive, something in me would light up! I would immediately connect it back to Isaiah 43:19, it was almost as if God was tapping me on the shoulder saying,

“Pay attention.

Remember. Remember.

Stay ready”

Because when life begins to shift, it's not always easy to perceive what God is doing. Sometimes all we can see is what's falling apart.

When the familiar starts to fade, carefully made plans unravel, and life no longer looks anything like we imagined, it's easy to become so consumed by what is changing that we miss what God may be doing right in front of us - and that became one of the lessons I kept circling around.

Sometimes were watching the old (people, places, and things) disappear while God is already making a way for something new.

Yet, in my moments of grief, confusion, and stillness, God continued to whisper the same truth to my heart:

"I am moving."

"I am present."

"I am faithful."

"I am not finished."

And if I'm being completely honest, my spirit has often been willing while my mind struggled to catch up. I knew God was inviting me into something new... but my thoughts and sometimes my actions, didn't always know how to follow.

And that's where faith, the mind, and the way God created us begin to make so much more sense to me. I've learned that our minds naturally become familiar with what we've experienced. We tend to cling to predictable patterns because they feel safe and known - even when God is inviting us somewhere new.

This journey has required far more than saying the right faith-filled words or praying the perfect prayer. It has required me to surrender the very places I fought hardest to control.

It has meant unlearning old ways of thinking.

Confronting unhealthy patterns.

Releasing misplaced expectations.

And allowing God to gently renew the way I think, respond, act, trust, and live.

By God's grace, there are battles I've watched Him bring me through.

But then there are others... I'm still learning to surrender one day, and sometimes one moment - at a time.

And perhaps that's been one of the most humbling lessons of all.

Healing doesn't always look pretty.

Restoration doesn't always happen overnight.

Growth isn't always loud.

Renewal isn't always instant.

Sometimes God restores us in layers.

Sometimes He strengthens us slowly.

Sometimes He allows us to circle the mountain... again.

Sometimes He's transforming us long before we recognize the evidence of His work.

Let me tell you, this journey has become my real-life invitation into Romans 12:2.

Not in some neat, effortless, perfectly wrapped-up kind of way. Of course not, that would be too easy.

It's been a daily surrender of old thought patterns, misplaced expectations, and the temptation to keep clinging to what once felt familiar.

My comfort zone.

Throughout this journey, some days have felt heavier than I ever imagined. EV-ER! But through this roller coaster ride, God has faithfully been renewing my mind... one quiet act of obedience, one surrendered thought, and one gentle reminder of His truth at a time - as simple as this sounds, it has been a challenge for me.

Confession: I Love a Plan

I'm the kind of woman who loves a plan.

Color-coded calendars make me ridiculously happy.

I appreciate a good to-do checklist.

I breathe knowing what's next.

And if I could map out the next five years with a cup of coffee in hand... I'd probably try.

So imagine my surprise when God lovingly invited me into a chapter where almost nothing went according to my plan.

Right when you think you have some type of momentum... you quickly take 3 steps backward.

Whew...

That'll humble a girl - especially a Latina!

But somewhere along the way, I've discovered something I never expected: Some of God's deepest work doesn't happen after we've made it through the process... noooo, it happens while we're still in the thick of it all.

And maybe that's the part we don't talk about enough.

The messy middle.

The unanswered questions.

The prayers that weren't answered the way we hoped.

The unexplained back-to-back physical and spiritual warfare.

The moments when were trying to trust God while simultaneously asking Him, "what are You doing or where are you?" or if I'm being super transparent "Lord, what the heck was that?"

I've learned that God isn't intimidated by my questions, or even the moments when hope deferred leaves me struggling to believe. He is not asking me to pretend I understand everything. Instead, He is inviting me to keep walking with Him while I don't.

That's why I created Held in the Process.

Not because I've figured this journey out.

Not because I have perfectly wrapped testimonies.

Not because I've arrived.

I created Held in the Process because I realized I'm probably not the only woman quietly asking or maybe evening yelling,

"God... what are You doing?"

"Where are You?"

"Did I hear You right?"

"Am I going in the right direction?"

"Wait, what? I'm done, this is not for me"

And maybe you've asked some of those questions too.

Held in the Process is a faith-filled space where real life meets God's truth, offering honest reflections, heartfelt prayers, and encouragement for women who are still becoming.

It's a place where faith meets the unfinished parts of real life.

Where honesty is welcomed.

Where questions aren't ignored.

Where healing doesn't have to be rushed.

Where tears aren't a sign of weak faith.

Where laughter is still holy.

And where God gently meets us exactly where we are.

Around here you'll find...

☕ Honest reflections from the middle of my own journey.

📖 Scripture that meets real life.

🤍 Heartfelt prayers for the days your don't have the words.

🌿 Gentle encouragement for the season that feel anything but gentle.

📚 Faith-filled journals, devotionals, printables. and resources created while I'm still walking this journey myself (coming soon).

😂 And yes...the occasional millennial reference, awkward joke, or "whew" moment (because that's just who I am.)

I don’t write because I’ve mastered the process. I write because I’ve discovered that God doesn’t wait for me to have it all together. He meets me right in the middle of it.

And maybe that's what I want you to remember the most:

You don't have to have the whole thing figured out to walk with God.

You don't have to understand every twist and turn.

You don't have to be finished becoming.

You can bring Him the questions.

The disappointment.

The anger.

The hope.

The fear.

The dreams.

The messy parts.

The parts you're still trying to understand.

And together, we can keep learning to perceive what God is doing, even when life doesn't look anything like we imagined.

So if you're carrying questions, disappointments, hopes, prayers, or dreams that feel far from becoming reality...

Pull up a chair.

Take a deep breath.

Grab your favorite cup of coffee (or tea - I don't judge 😉).

Let's walk with God together...

as we learn to perceive what He is doing, right here in the middle of it all.

♥ Lauren

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Made with ♥ for women in transition.