When Becoming Doesn't Look Like I Expected

Can I tell you something?

I used to think becoming would feel exciting.

Like, "I've got this. Piece of cake."

I imagined I'd confidently step into every new season God had for me with unwavering faith, a solid plan, and maybe even a color-coded checklist. (If you know...you know. 😂)

But what happens when the very thing God asks you to loosen your grip on is the thing you've worked so hard to build?

Your plans.

Your comfort zone.

A relationship.

A friendship.

Your financial security.

The things that make life feel stable.

If you had asked me a few years ago whether God would ever lead me into a season like that, I probably would've laughed and said,

"The devil is a liar." 😂

Seriously... why would God ask me to let go of something that seemed so responsible, so practical, and so secure?

It didn't make sense to me.

What I didn't realize then was that sometimes God doesn't remove our sense of security to harm us. Sometimes, in His love, He gently loosens our grip on the things we've been depending on so we can discover that He has been our true security all along.

And let me tell you...

That isn't always an easy lesson to learn.

For me, becoming has often looked like letting go before I knew what God was placing in my hands.

It has looked like grieving what changed while trying to trust what He was building.

It has looked like loving God with all my heart while quietly whispering,

"Lord...help me believe You're here, even when I can't see what You're doing."

Maybe you've prayed something like that too.

Or maybe, if we're being really honest... you've cried, vented, or even yelled your frustration toward heaven. (Raising my hand over here... guilty. 🙋🏻‍♀️)

The beautiful thing is...

God isn't intimidated by our honesty.

If anything, I've learned that He meets us there.

Right in the middle of it.

So if that's where you are today, I want you to know something:

You're in good company.

Because I'm still becoming, too.

I'm still learning.

Still healing.

Still surrendering (over and over again, lol.)

Still asking God to renew my mind, steady my heart, and teach me to trust Him in places I don't yet understand.

That's why Held in the Process exists.

Not because I've arrived.

But because I believe we shouldn't have to walk these seasons alone.

And if I'm honest...

That sentence alone is evidence that God has been transforming me.

Because I used to be the woman who kept everything to herself.

I valued my privacy.

I preferred to process alone.

The idea of sharing my personal life, especially while I was still living it - would've made me incredibly uncomfortable.

Yet here I am.

Not because sharing suddenly became easy...

But because God gently showed me that our stories aren't only meant to be carried.

Sometimes they're meant to be shared, so someone else remembers they aren't walking through the process alone.

And if my story helps even one woman recognize God's faithfulness in the middle of her own...

Then every uncomfortable step of obedience has been worth it.

Take heart.

Breathe deep.

You are being held in the process.

~ Lauren ♡